I had fought back and forth with myself so many times over the past month or so on whether or not to delete my ex off of all social media. To be fair, he really only uses Facebook and Snapchat (that I know of) so it wouldn't be a huge chore or a big loss. It would make an impact on my life though.
I really wouldn't have considered this had our breakup went semi-ok. It wasn't mutual and after giving years to him, he ignored me like we were never in love and moved on like it was nothing. No conversation was had, no closure was given, just a "we're done" and move out. It was like we had never even been together. As I started to try moving on, I kept coming face to face with surprises. The truth came out about several lies I have been told. I started hearing how he was seeing someone new. It didn't take long for him to start posting stories on Snapchat that would make any ex cringe. It made me mad. He would post a Facebook post or a Snap story that seemed to be taking shots at me, whether it was or not. I would bitch about how he posted this on Facebook, or "look at his story on Snapchat." I was caught up and way too bothered. I started to feel as if I was obsessed, or at least still interested in what he was doing. I probably was and it needed to stop. On one hand, I didn't want to delete him. Why? I wanted to remind myself why we aren't together. I wanted him there to show myself I'm better off. I didn't want to forget how he treated me and wanted to watch his life progressively go down hill. I wanted him to see what I was doing in my life and hope that he would regret his decisions. It was all a game and it was always a question of who would win the day. On the other hand, I hated it. I didn't wanna see his videos with this new bitch and didn't care to know how high he was. I was sick of checking up on his life and seeing how he's doing, when he clearly didn't seem to care how I was. I was becoming "that ex" and I really didn't wanna be her. I was subjecting myself to the hurt so I would know to never miss that asshole again. Well, I was over it. As my mom had told me previously to "just delete him," I decided to get some more opinions. I took to Twitter to see how people my age would handle the situation and got more responses than expected. I had several responses saying I should delete him. "Do it bitch," a best friend told me. I had girls tell me that nothing good comes out of seeing his posts and if I'm not good enough for his life, then why should he be in mine? All very true statements, all great words of wisdom. With that amount of response, I went over the pros and cons. This time, the pros to keeping him weren't so important. I wanted to do this, I wanted to cut ties and move on for good. I wanted to be rid of the possibilities of seeing what he's doing, I didn't care to know anymore. So I did it. My friend and I went through and deleted him from my social media. No more posts to upset me. No more popping up and reminding me of our failed relationship. No more constant reminders. As I will never rid him and our relationship from my memories, he is not my present nor my future. He is my past; a lesson, a former love, an ex. I need to continue moving on and moving forward, and without him in my life.
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AuthorChelsea Blake: My views on life and writing whatever my heart desires. Archives
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