It's so refreshing to live in this day and age where people are more open to different lifestyles and opinions. As we, as a generation, open up our minds to different races and sexual orientations, we also open our minds to different kinds of dating styles and relationships.
I'm newly 24 and I'm single AF, that's OK though. As much as I'd like to go home to a man every night to eat dinner with, watch a little TV and cuddle with to sleep, I'm not gonna settle on someone. I refuse to be that lonely, desperate chick who agrees to be someone's girlfriend because all of my friends are in relationships, or I want a constant cuddle buddy. I'd much rather be that independent woman who doesn't need a man (well, until she's ready.) So until then, I'm exploring my options and doing whatever the hell makes me happy. What is that exactly? I'm dating around, not committing myself to one person. If I wanna talk to guy #1 and hang out with guy #2 later, that's what I'm gonna do. Like it or not, I'm doing what makes me happy this time around. Why should I limit myself to one man if they nor I know what we want for the time being? Why should we force relationships that we know won't last? Dating multiple guys at a time doesn't make you a slut. Dating multiple guys at the same time, when one person is not aware or not OK with it, makes you a slut. It's all about the context clues. Being single in your 20s, you don't want to miss out on anything. You feel this is your last chance to be young and free, so that's exactly what you want to be. Trying to date one guy at a time and failing each time is exhausting and a waste of time. The last thing you want to do is turn 30 and have nothing to show for it. Seeing whoever you want, whenever you want opens so many possibilities for you. You can date two different guys, who are complete opposites of each other, and test out what makes you happy. You can have your nice, romantic type while you have your bad, down-to-earth type too. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean. Learning the type of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with is important. Experimenting with different guys will help with this. Not settling is even more important. Don't limit yourself if you don't want to be limited, it's that simple. You'll know when it's the right time to be tied down to one guy. Until then, have fun and be safe, my wild and adventurous ladies. There's a sea full of men out there just waiting to bite.
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I thought I was happy; in love and unstoppable. You know, that "on top of the world" kind of feeling. Invincible. I didn't think I could be any happier than I was, which in reality wasn't all that happy.
I lived thinking I was as happy as I was ever going to get and fell into a habit of accepting the unhappiness. I was easily depressed, and the amount of stress and anxiety I felt was constantly high. Every day I told myself I was going to live life happier and eliminate the negative moods, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't shake it. I was in a toxic relationship; we simply weren't good for each other. We fought often and never resolved our problems. We fed off of the problems and anxiety within our relationship. It eventually pushed us both to a place that scared us. I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten and was brushing off the fear. We were digging a deep hole that we almost couldn't get out of. One day, he gained the strength to get out; reached up, grabbed the edge and pulled himself out of the hole, leaving me behind. I was in too deep; I couldn't pull myself out in that moment. Honestly, I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in the dark underground because I refused to accept it was over. It took me time, but I finally let people who cared for me help me out of my hole and into the light. It's hard to admit, but I'm thankful for him ending our relationship when he did. In that moment, I wasn't strong enough to let go of him or my future I had planned. I was holding on to everything so tightly, I couldn't let it go. I needed it to be pried from my hands, and it was. Had he not ended it then, we may still be where we were. In the past 6 weeks I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned to be alone and also a better version of myself. I've learned to be positive again and not give into the negativity as often as before. I've lost any depression I had and reduced my anxiety to barely existent. I still have my moments, but I have progressed a lot in this short time. I've finally started to become the person I knew was hiding inside and let her out. I've found who I truly am, who I was all along but just didn't know it. I'm able to be the me I longed to be. I'm me, and I'm happy. When coming out of a long term relationship, there are so many mixed emotions. On the one hand, you're mourning the relationship, the ex love, and the future you were promised. On the other hand, you now have this whole new, fresh life awaiting you and your arrival to it.
As you should take time to mourn what was to be, you must also move past it and embrace what's ahead of you! Remember those parts of the ex-future you weren't really looking forward to, erase that! You were given the chance to start a new future. Even though you had a future set up and some bastard tore it away, don't worry about it. You have the power to set up an even better future without them. The breakup may still hurt, but here's what you have to look forward to in your new single life. You have complete freedom. No one to throw their opinions in your face and change your mind. Nothing holding you back. You are free. Do you, be you, and have a hell of a good time! You have a fresh start. No past. No baggage.It's time to meet new people and see new places. It's like you get a new life to test out and see where it takes you. Everyone loves a fresh start. You can do those single things you couldn't before. Talking to randoms in bars and staying out until whenever. Watching Netflix without worrying if the other person likes what you picked. It's really the simple things. You have more time for yourself and others. This is a time to find yourself again. Do even more things alone and find out who you are now without them. Spend more time with friends and meet new people. You can focus on a new future. Your future is gonna be different now but that can be a good thing. Make it better than it was previously planned. Show everyone you can make a better life for yourself, by yourself. You can make that future better. It's so nice to look back and see that you are improving your life while the other one gets left behind. Breathe a sigh of relief because you dodged a bullet on that one. You're life is getting better. I feel as if I live by this saying more than anyone else. I am why they came up with this in the first place. You may be friends or in a relationship with someone based on similarities, but there are so many instances where I feel I have less in common with someone than in common.
I even found this pattern where a lot of my friends who don't know each other, have much more in common than I do with each of them. I mean yeah, I have things in common with them, I had to have become friends with them somehow in the first place. Altogether though, there are plenty of things we don't see eye to eye on. You don't have to have everything in common with your significant other either. You read all these articles about how two people are so perfect for each other because they do everything together and have all the same opinions. Well in my opinion, that would get a little boring to me. Isn't it a little more exciting when two people are different? I don't care what anyone says, you love who you love and you can't change that. You can try to, but good luck with that, I've never seen how it's possible. So if you love someone who doesn't think or feel the same as you, don't panic. Maybe you and someone don't have much in common, maybe you feel like you are complete opposites and have nothing in common. Most likely that's not true. If you search and try hard enough, there is probably something/s that the two of you agree about or enjoy doing. It is ok to do your own thing in relationships. Sometimes you're gonna be alone in doing something, enjoy it. While in a relationship though, you should try new things with your SO, as they should do the same for you. We have to do a lot of things in life we don't want to, well that goes for relationships as well. Suck it up, maybe you'll end up with a new hobby. Having different opinions and hobbies can get in the way and even cause disagreements. The best thing to remember is that it shouldn't be that big of a deal, unless of course your opposite opinions deeply affect the relationship. If you can make it work, then don't worry about the differences. Love who you wanna love. Be friends with people who make you laugh and care about you. Regardless of differences, we are on this Earth to make it a better place, right? Now I got too deep. Put aside the fact that there are differences, if the love is mutual, that's enough in common as far as I can tell. Coffee, coffee. Gotta have my coffee. OMG for the love of coffee. Do you take coffee to be your husband, to have and to hold, for as long as you both shall live? I do.
I'm a coffee lover along with 75% of the population (unreal statistic) and can't express it enough. The taste is not the only thing that keeps me coming back for me, but the amazing ingredient of caffeine helps me get through the days. Without the components within coffee, I don't know how surviving would go. It'd be a pretty rough world out there full of zombies. Possibly a zombie apocalypse starts because coffee goes extinct?! No, let's not think like that. With my love for coffee and lack of knowing exactly what I want to do in this life, I have the best job that would just make my life complete; opening a coffee shop/cafe. How awesome would it be to own your own cafe? There are so many things that go into opening your very own coffee shop, they all sound fine to me. Finding/building the cutest little place. To find the perfect place may not be the easiest, but you could always just build what you want. A cute little, two story place would be ideal. Nothing big, but room for some tables for people to enjoy their coffee and food, while conversing or doing whatever they may please. Designing. I love finding the perfect interior designs so decorating the place up would be awesome and it would be my own. Comfortable little seating areas to relax, so that definitely means some couches and chairs along with tables. The tones with be earthy with a hint of pastel colors to bring a nice, relaxing mood to the place. As the counter will be downstairs, there will be stairs leading up to a loft with additional seating. Features. I will make sure to provide some magazines for the readers and free WiFi, well for everyone. There will be music playing throughout, but there will be a way for customers to choose what is playing if they'd like. Upstairs will be a television for customers who would like that for their entertainment. I would also want to eventually have an app for my cafe. I love my Dunkin app and all the awesome deals it includes and would want my customers to experience the same. Food and drink. I would serve all coffee based products, brand and such I have no idea, or maybe I'd make my own? We would also serve tea, hot and cold for the tea heads. As for food, pastries of types will be served. I also want to have a few options such as sandwiches for a variety throughout the day. These are just a few of my ideas for Chelsea's Cafe. Cafe a la Chelsea. Chelsea's coffee and such. The name need's some work. This is my dream and would love it to come true some day. |
AuthorChelsea Blake: My views on life and writing whatever my heart desires. Archives
April 2018
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