I thought I was happy; in love and unstoppable. You know, that "on top of the world" kind of feeling. Invincible. I didn't think I could be any happier than I was, which in reality wasn't all that happy.
I lived thinking I was as happy as I was ever going to get and fell into a habit of accepting the unhappiness. I was easily depressed, and the amount of stress and anxiety I felt was constantly high. Every day I told myself I was going to live life happier and eliminate the negative moods, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't shake it.
I was in a toxic relationship; we simply weren't good for each other. We fought often and never resolved our problems. We fed off of the problems and anxiety within our relationship. It eventually pushed us both to a place that scared us. I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten and was brushing off the fear. We were digging a deep hole that we almost couldn't get out of.
One day, he gained the strength to get out; reached up, grabbed the edge and pulled himself out of the hole, leaving me behind. I was in too deep; I couldn't pull myself out in that moment. Honestly, I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in the dark underground because I refused to accept it was over. It took me time, but I finally let people who cared for me help me out of my hole and into the light.
It's hard to admit, but I'm thankful for him ending our relationship when he did. In that moment, I wasn't strong enough to let go of him or my future I had planned. I was holding on to everything so tightly, I couldn't let it go. I needed it to be pried from my hands, and it was. Had he not ended it then, we may still be where we were.
In the past 6 weeks I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned to be alone and also a better version of myself. I've learned to be positive again and not give into the negativity as often as before. I've lost any depression I had and reduced my anxiety to barely existent. I still have my moments, but I have progressed a lot in this short time.
I've finally started to become the person I knew was hiding inside and let her out. I've found who I truly am, who I was all along but just didn't know it. I'm able to be the me I longed to be. I'm me, and I'm happy.
Coffee, coffee. Gotta have my coffee. OMG for the love of coffee. Do you take coffee to be your husband, to have and to hold, for as long as you both shall live? I do.
I'm a coffee lover along with 75% of the population (unreal statistic) and can't express it enough. The taste is not the only thing that keeps me coming back for me, but the amazing ingredient of caffeine helps me get through the days. Without the components within coffee, I don't know how surviving would go. It'd be a pretty rough world out there full of zombies. Possibly a zombie apocalypse starts because coffee goes extinct?! No, let's not think like that.
With my love for coffee and lack of knowing exactly what I want to do in this life, I have the best job that would just make my life complete; opening a coffee shop/cafe.
How awesome would it be to own your own cafe? There are so many things that go into opening your very own coffee shop, they all sound fine to me.
Finding/building the cutest little place.
To find the perfect place may not be the easiest, but you could always just build what you want. A cute little, two story place would be ideal. Nothing big, but room for some tables for people to enjoy their coffee and food, while conversing or doing whatever they may please.
I love finding the perfect interior designs so decorating the place up would be awesome and it would be my own. Comfortable little seating areas to relax, so that definitely means some couches and chairs along with tables. The tones with be earthy with a hint of pastel colors to bring a nice, relaxing mood to the place. As the counter will be downstairs, there will be stairs leading up to a loft with additional seating.
I will make sure to provide some magazines for the readers and free WiFi, well for everyone. There will be music playing throughout, but there will be a way for customers to choose what is playing if they'd like. Upstairs will be a television for customers who would like that for their entertainment. I would also want to eventually have an app for my cafe. I love my Dunkin app and all the awesome deals it includes and would want my customers to experience the same.
Food and drink.
I would serve all coffee based products, brand and such I have no idea, or maybe I'd make my own? We would also serve tea, hot and cold for the tea heads. As for food, pastries of types will be served. I also want to have a few options such as sandwiches for a variety throughout the day.
These are just a few of my ideas for Chelsea's Cafe. Cafe a la Chelsea. Chelsea's coffee and such. The name need's some work. This is my dream and would love it to come true some day.
Having a social life is great, don't get me wrong, but there's a point in life where you need to realize it's ok to spend time alone.
When you're younger, life is all about being popular and having friends; if you spend a Friday night in watching movies, you were a loser. I always thought, why can't I just spend tonight with me? Why is that looked down on?
As I grow and society has certainly changed, this is much more acceptable. How many people do you know spending their night with their bestie Netflix or just being independent and doing something on their own? It's so much more common.
I don't suggest becoming a hermit and losing touch with everyone you know, but if you're somebody living a busy life with plans on plans, give yourself a night to spend with you. You'll find it relaxing.
I cherish my alone time and sometimes prefer it to being out. I have a pretty good time with myself, not bragging. This time keeps me sane, let's me do whatever I wanna do, on my time. It's awesome.
It's nice to not have your phone buzzing every few minutes too. Back away from social media, let a few texts go, disconnect from the world and have your time. You deserve it!
Unwind and recharge with this time for yourself. Learn something about yourself or turn off your mind altogether. Being alone is a perfectly normal thing and no one should be judged for it.
We don't like those judges here, be yourself with no worries!
As I was growing up, I felt like I always needed to depend on someone. I thought that I always needed to be around someone, be constantly talking to someone, or it would be like I didn't exist. Like I didn't matter.
For all my life, I would go through depressed states where I felt alone. My loneliness would overcome my entire mood, and I would wonder why I was even here.
My fear of being alone was so strong for the first 18 years of my life. I never wanted to go anywhere alone, I'd find someone to go with me. I felt awkward sitting alone places. Being alone anywhere made me anxious.
As time went on, I learned to do things alone. I didn't always need to, but I could do it. I eventually got to a place where I could eat in public places alone and often prefer to shop solo.
There was still one problem; I felt I needed so many friends and to be in contact or hang out with said friends often. This is one of my biggest insecurities I've dealt with and for the most part overcame.
I came to terms with it finally after all these years, I'm a loner, an independent. I don't spend most days with people to just be around people, I spend time with me and I'm ok with that.
I love my friends and spending time with them when I can, don't get me wrong. No longer though will I chase after so called friends. Never again will I put so much on the line to keep a friend who does not care. I am perfectly ok with the people in my life and any that come along who prove to care.
Recently, I have learned to love my life. I enjoy being somewhat independent and I'm happy with who I have in my life. I still suffer from being insecure and occasionally depressed, but I hope to kick them to the curb someday.
Not everyone lives the same life. You may spend all your time with friends, or you may spend a lot of time alone. Whoever you are, learn to love that life and who you are. If you don't accept it, you'll have a hard time being happy.
If you are the loner type and do things solo, embrace it! Try more things by yourself and spend time with you. You'll learn more than you knew about yourself than before!
Serenity, when you're calm, relaxed, and in a state of comfort and peace. Who doesn't love this? Then again, in times of trouble or anger, it can be hard to find your serenity when you need it the most. The last thing you think of when you're upset is what brings you peace.
Think of when you're most calm, at peace. Make a list of things that keep you tranquil and have it handy text time you are disturbed, so you know the right remedy to bring you back.
Here are some ideas, in case you are at a loss, to what helps me or others in these times.
Set the mood
Music or a Movie
Sit back, relax, and find your inner peace.
Chelsea Blake: My views on life and writing whatever my heart desires.